Somewhere, there are people who had to sit through this being shown on a giant screen at a sales meeting, and resisted the urge to gouge out their own eyes with a spork. My compassion for humanity reaches new highs.

And speaking of totalitarian police states, it has come to my attention that Jack Grimes, indefatigable leader of the United Fascist Union, and 2008 candidate for US president, who wants to re-make America in the model of Mussolini’s Italy, with mandatory worship of the Roman Pantheon, is from my home town. Yet another reason to be proud.

With all the trouble in the world, it’s good to know that at least us savvy internet users won’t be bothered by potentially offensive acronyms while driving around the leafy avenues of our wholesome towns.

Well, it would be great if there were not so many other somewhat-funny ways to use licence plates to offend.